Why praising effort over talent makes a difference for children’s self-esteem

A parent gives a high-five to a child who looks proud at the table.

Praising effort over talent is a powerful way to promote children’s self-esteem. When we acknowledge the hard work and dedication that goes into achieving something, it helps create a growth mindset that fosters resilience and motivation. This approach encourages children to view their abilities not as fixed traits but as skills that can be developed, leading to better academic and social outcomes.

Why Praising Effort is Important Praising effort over talent has a significant impact on a child’s self-esteem. While praise for talent may provide temporary recognition of achievement, it often creates an expectation that success is solely dependent on natural ability. This perception can lead children to believe they must always perform well and fear failure intensely. In contrast, emphasizing effort highlights the process behind achievements, which helps build a strong sense of identity and self-confidence.

The Impact on Self-Esteem

Self-esteem in children is closely tied to their belief in their capabilities. When we focus on effort rather than talent, it conveys that success stems from perseverance and learning, not solely from innate ability. This mindset shift can help children develop a more optimistic outlook on challenges and be less discouraged by setbacks. According to psychologists, this approach fosters a growth mindset, where the potential for development is seen as greater than the fixed notion of talent.

The Role of Language in Shaping Mindset

Language plays a crucial role in shaping how we perceive ourselves. Using phrases that emphasize effort—such as “You worked really hard on this!” or “I can see you’re trying your best!”—helps children internalize their capabilities and the value of perseverance. This is particularly important during formative years when self-image is forming. By choosing such language, parents and educators can encourage a more positive self-image based on effort rather than natural ability.

The Effects of Fixed Versus Growth Mindsets

The distinction between fixed and growth mindsets is essential for understanding the impact of praise on children’s development. A fixed mindset believes that abilities are unchangeable, whereas a growth mindset views them as something that can be developed. Praising talent often aligns with a fixed mindset, while praising effort supports the idea that capabilities can evolve. This difference in mindset can significantly influence how children respond to challenges and setbacks.

How Parents and Teachers Can Apply It Parents and teachers play a crucial role in shaping this culture of effort and development. By consistently focusing on the process rather than the outcome, they can help create an environment where it is valued to learn from mistakes and improve continuously. This not only strengthens self-esteem but also prepares children for real-life situations where perseverance often proves to be a more reliable ally than innate talent.

Common Mistakes and Solutions

One common mistake when trying to encourage effort over talent is using phrases that imply natural ability, such as “You’re so smart!” Instead of focusing solely on the result, it’s important to emphasize what led to success: “I can see you put a lot of time into this.” This adjustment in language encourages children to focus more on their efforts and less on what they are naturally good at.

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